without fail

A Pledge of (My Own) Sanity

2010-01-26T14:27:00.008+08:00

I hereby solemnly affirm that I will not fall head over heels into any sort of irrational, improbable infatuations, unless I detect any reasonably obvious reciprocation from the other party (this is in general, not pertaining to any particular person or persons). Perhaps I am, at heart, an idealist. Not to the extent of relying on love at first sight, but my ideal situation is that of mutual affection, rather than one person doing all the 'work'. Sure, I understand that courtship implies initiative on the guy's part, but at the same time I don't believe in chasing dead ends or lost causes. Whatever happens, happens; whatever does not happens, does not. Que sera sera. What will be, will be. 顺其自然.

The Epiphany of the Symposium

2009-12-10T16:44:00.046+08:00

So this is it. In the future I will reflect upon this moment, and recognize it as the point in time and thought where I crossed the line, and gave up on this silly venture.

I've been thinking, and I believe I truly understand now what my mother warned me years ago, that in any sort of relationship (even normal friendship), reciprocity is paramount. Not in that one should expect others to return favors all the time, but surely some of the time. I am inherently an altruistic person, and this extends to what I am willing to do for my friends. I'd like to say that I am there for them almost all the time, though I may have faltered on occasion, and for that I am sorry. Conversely, being the reasonable person that I am, I do not hold others to the same standards to which I hold myself. This simple statement, I believe, has far reaching consequences with regards to my outlook on life, and how I carry myself, in theory. In fact, it sums up quite nicely the extreme seriousness with which I take my 'reasonableness': I hold myself to a high standard, but I am reasonable and tolerant enough to recognize that I cannot possibly hold everyone else to this standard, and not fail to be disappointed at every other turn. On the other hand I realize that nobody is perfect, least of all myself, so it is clear that I cannot expect perfection of others. (please don't any of you take offense at this)

Where does this bring me? After much soul-searching, I have come to several significant realizations, which is why I am sitting here blogging at three in the morning on the day of my calculus final. What do I look out for in a person? I have been asked this before by a dear friend, and at the time, the best answer I could provide was: another Me. And now I realize why. Because it would be guaranteed to work out happily for everyone. What are the things that hold a relationship together, that enable it to weather the worst of storms? These are none other than the simple qualities of patience, tolerance, reasonableness, being open to constructive criticism, and so on. Find me two people who embody these traits and I will bet my life that they will go far together. I personally take these traits very seriously, and try to incorporate them into all aspects of my life; thus I have in myself half the equation already (I do not mean to sound arrogant; merely matter of fact).

From where will the other half arise? Obviously it has to come from the other person, if such an ideal partner exists. How will I recognize such a person, out of the countless many I have and will encounter in my entire lifetime? It is brilliantly simple, and this is the end product of my deliberations: It is a person whom I appreciate for who she is, and who in turn appreciates me for who I am. That's all there is to it. I'm not saying that one must accept everything in the other person; only that in principle one must be able to find resonance in the other's fundamental virtues and values. Beyond that, if both parties possess the "win-con" traits I enumerated earlier, their relationship will be unbreakable.

What relevance does this have to my situation now? It cleared the fog of doubt around my head, and showed me how things really are. I realize now that many of the things I had interpreted as signs were probably merely circumstantial at best; no more than the confluence of coincidence and voices in my head. I do not hold anybody at fault here whatsoever; if anything, I was wrong to have read too much into it (as I am oft culpable of doing).

The other thing is regarding reciprocity. If I am always looking out for others, and doing their worrying for them, what do I expect in return, if at all? For all I espouse about altruism, the hard truth is that I am but a mere human being. But what can one honorably expect in return for true friendship? Nothing material or tangible. Why, 'tis naught but humble Appreciation. After all, even the poorest man, devoid of worldly possessions, is capable of giving this. Even animals can give it. If I help a stranger, I would at least expect a smile and a word of thanks. So I think I can safely conclude that it is not unreasonable to expect some measure of Appreciation from one's own friends. Not only some appreciation, but an amount that is fair and commensurate to the sincere service rendered.

Much as I loathe to delve into stock market analogies, but it all boils down to investment. Suppose I can choose to perform an action to help someone out, or perhaps provide a suggestion, say a rearrangement of furniture that is entirely to the other person's benefit alone. Suppose furthermore that if I provide such a suggestion, I am entirely obliged, as a helpful friend, to assist in some manner of effecting such an improvement, even if it were effortless and trivial for me to do so. What could possibly motivate me to partake in such an endeavor? Three things:
1. My contribution will be recognized and duly appreciated, to a reasonable extent. 2. The absence of my suggestion will be made obvious at some point in the future, i.e. my inaction will have negative consequences for myself. 3. I feel good for helping a friend, even when help was not requested or even considered in the first place (i.e. I perform the action for its own sake). Now suppose that the first two criteria failed right from the get go. All that is left is my own altruistic, helpful self. Under many circumstances, this should still be sufficient motivation to go ahead, and to do so cheerily. But what if this happens again? And again, and again? All with the same conspicuous (lack of) outcome? Is one not permitted to question whether it is but a fool's errand? Is it not folly to proceed in a similar manner indefinitely?

I must, in all fairness to myself in the eyes of the reader, reiterate at this point that I do not perform favors for my friends while expecting them to return them in the future. But everything must be within reason. Unappreciated initiative is, for all purposes, useless to the initiator. For a stark example, consider why initiative is absent in most experienced NSFs in the SAF? Simply because 1. your boss is too half-witted to recognize your ability anyway 2. your boss recognizes it, but doesn't give it more than a passing thought 3. your boss recognizes it, considers the situation, and then assigns you more saikang for make benefit his own CV. It is entirely analogous.

So then, to the Symposium. Is it better to love or to be loved? When that question was posed in class, I sat on the "to love" side, but I could not really articulate my rationale, even to myself. But now I see I was not wrong to have chosen that side. For the one who loves calls the shots as he sees fit. And when he realizes that it is a lost cause, he has the prerogative to simply walk away. And that makes all the difference.

情非得已

2009-11-18T10:05:00.002+08:00

难以忘记初次见你,一双迷人的眼睛.
在我脑海里,你的身影,挥散不去.
握你的双手感觉你的温柔,
真的有点透不过气.
你的天真我想珍惜,
看到你受委屈我会伤心...

只怕我自己会爱上你,不敢让自己靠的太近.
怕我没什么能够给你,爱你也需要很大的勇气.
只怕我自己会爱上你,也许有天会情不自禁.
想念只让自己苦了自己,爱上你是我情非得已.

难以忘记初次见你,一双迷人的眼睛.
在我脑海里,你的身影,挥散不去.
握你的双手感觉你的温柔,
真的有点透不过气.
你的天真我想珍惜,
看到你受委屈我会伤心.

只怕我自己会爱上你,不敢让自己靠的太近.
怕我没什么能够给你,爱你也需要很大的勇气.
只怕我自己会爱上你,也许有天会情不自禁.
想念只让自己苦了自己,爱上你是我情非得已.

什么原因,我竟然又会遇见你.
我真的真的不愿意,就这样陷入爱的陷阱.
只怕我自己会爱上你,不敢让自己靠的太近.
怕我没什么能够给你,爱你也需要很大的勇气.
只怕我自己会爱上你,也许有天会情不自禁.
想念只让自己苦了自己,爱上你是我情非得已.
爱上你是我情非得已.
爱上你是我情非得已...

what dreams may come

2009-11-09T06:21:00.000+08:00

well i guess some things just can't be helped. que sera sera.

The Breaking of the Fellowship

2009-09-09T15:20:00.000+08:00

The Road goes ever on and on
Down from the door where it began.
Now far ahead the Road has gone,
And I must follow, if I can,
Pursuing it with eager feet,
Until it joins some larger way
Where many paths and errands meet.
And whither then? I cannot say.

quatorze jours: deux semaines

2009-09-02T00:11:00.021+08:00

At every stage of your life, you look up to those people who are older than you by a couple of years, and you think the world of them. They're so smart and mature and self-controlled. Then when you grow older by X number of years, you look back and reflect, and wonder how it is you could have possibly thought that they were all grown up at that point, when you feel so lost and anchor-less yourself now. When I was in secondary one and two, I looked up at the upper sec guys, and they seemed to be in a different category, a different class (no pun intended) altogether. When I finally climbed up the stairs to sec four, I turned around and stared at the path that had brought me there, and wondered how it could have seemed so formidable, so gargantuan from below. Had the path changed? Or had I, myself, changed so much? A few more years down the road, I looked back again, and behold, secondary four, jc one, etc are no longer the benchmarks of manhood we perceived them to be. I look at a sec four guy today, and in my mind I'll automatically label him as a 'kid', still wet behind his ears. And thus, I approach the magic twenty-one with some trepidation. What's the big deal really? I'm not even familiar with what I'll be able to do legally upon reaching that age (in Singapore, at least. In the States, you'll be of legal age to buy and consume alcohol. Not that anyone really cares.) But as past experience has shown, time is a funny thing. Light beams will diffract along the exact same path in a given medium regardless of which direction you choose, but time, no, time is a house of mirrors. The side facing you now makes you look bigger, but when you go around it and look through the curved surface, back at your old self, it all seems so small, so insignificant. Tests, homework, the petty squabbles of the day. All are rendered to memory and dust. What are they now, but a faded echo of times long past?

We must learn from history. When we look back and think, and ask, why did we persist in doing that something that was so obviously wrong, or useless, or both, it behooves us to pause a moment a think, could it be that we are repeating that very same error today, albeit in different form or substance? What use is remembering our past failures and errors, if not to learn not to repeat them again. Surely we do not wish to keep such memories merely for reminiscence, for there is already enough in the world to make us weary, morose and taciturn.

"May it be, when darkness falls, your heart will be true."

Crowning Moment of WTF?

2009-06-06T23:39:00.005+08:00

Scene: Start of intermission during SYCO Concert at SCH

ZJ, ZM and I are about to go toilet. I put down my concert booklet (which cost $1) on my seat.

ZJ: Are you sure you want to leave your $1 concert booklet there?

Me: Surely ... SURELY no one would take it ...

0.01 secs later -- the kid sitting in front of me turns around, takes the booklet, and walks off with his family.

3 of us: *stunned silence*

Me: (while doing the Russell Peters What The F*** hand action) WHAT THE F***?!?!

- 5 minutes later in the toilet -

Me: I believe that's MY concert booklet.

Kid: (after pretending to look around as if I had pointed anywhere else BUT AT THE BOOKLET IN HIS HAND) Oh, sorry. *hands it over and walks off as if nothing had happened*

Me: -____-"""

Nobuo FTW

2009-06-02T23:15:00.002+08:00

Can play reasonably well:

Aerith's Theme
Tifa's Theme

Borderline pass:

One Winged Angel

Epic Fail:

Tatakau Monotachi
J-E-N-O-V-A

Upcoming:

Melodies of Life
Fisherman's Horizon

Backups:

To Zanarkand
Eyes on Me

The Zeroth Law of Expository Writing

2009-05-27T11:06:00.002+08:00

don't say 'most' when you mean 'many'
don't say 'many' when you mean 'some'
don't say 'some' when you mean 'a few'
and don't say 'a few' when you mean 'one'

Down Memory Lane

2009-05-26T14:25:00.006+08:00

Just acquired two classic oldies, 云南回忆 (courtesy of jason)and 长恨绵绵 (courtesy of ziming's blog, i must admit i actually forgot the bloody title =p). Man, listening to 长恨 again after such a long time was really ... emotional, for lack of a better word. It's just so poignant and epic. In fact, I think it stands above Butterfly Lovers in terms of ... "feel". I haven't listened to them since mugging for A Levels back in 2006. At that time, I only listened to these 2 pieces, 嘎达梅林 (all these 3 courtesy of shuan hao) + my old Bee Gees cd. Which amounts to the same 20 songs repeatedly lol. Plus some Les Miserables for good measure. Whoever said you can't mug and listen to music at the same time?

2009-05-25T13:52:00.001+08:00

"An Atheist loves himself and his fellow man instead of a god. An Atheist knows that heaven is something for which we should work now - here on earth - for all men together to enjoy. An Atheist thinks that he can get no help through prayer but that he must find in himself the inner conviction and strength to meet life, to grapple with it, to subdue, and enjoy it. An Atheist thinks that only in a knowledge of himself and a knowledge of his fellow man can he find the understanding that will help to a life of fulfillment. Therefore, he seeks to know himself and his fellow man rather than to know a god. An Atheist knows that a hospital should be built instead of a church. An Atheist knows that a deed must be done instead of a prayer said. An Atheist strives for involvement in life and not escape into death. He wants disease conquered, poverty vanquished, war eliminated. He wants man to understand and love man. He wants an ethical way of life. He knows that we cannot rely on a god nor channel action into prayer nor hope for an end to troubles in the hereafter. He knows that we are our brother's keeper and keepers of our lives; that we are responsible persons, that the job is here and the time is now."

-Madalyn Murray

Call of Cthulhu

2009-05-21T14:56:00.001+08:00

We all know that any emotional bias -- irrespective of truth or falsity -- can be implanted by suggestion in the emotions of the young, hence the inherited traditions of an orthodox community are absolutely without evidential value.... If religion were true, its followers would not try to bludgeon their young into an artificial conformity; but would merely insist on their unbending quest for truth, irrespective of artificial backgrounds or practical consequences. With such an honest and inflexible openness to evidence, they could not fail to receive any real truth which might be manifesting itself around them. The fact that religionists do not follow this honourable course, but cheat at their game by invoking juvenile quasi-hypnosis, is enough to destroy their pretensions in my eyes even if their absurdity were not manifest in every other direction.

- H. P. Lovecraft

Decisions, decisions

2009-05-18T11:04:00.023+08:00

To stay, or not to stay; that is t3h question.

So the procedure seems to have failed, i.e. it works in theory, but in practice it just ...... doesn't make the mark, qualitatively. Meaning that even it can't differentiate between true positives and true negatives. Meaning that it is worthless. Meaning that, on paper, I have 'wasted' the last 3.5 months on a technique that was inherently gg-ed. Of course it isn't really wasted, in that I've learnt a fair amount of stuff both in the lab, and out of it, like designing experiments, etc. Also, it is always helpful no matter what, to see what your future work will be like (in general). So I'm not reaaaaally complaining, but hey it's a natural reaction after seeing your baby go to the scrapheap -_-

So there WILL be stuff for me to do if I stay, that much is guaranteed. I'm pretty certain that the Linux alone will own me. And I guess q-PCR is worth taking a good look at, but I'll definitely read up what I can first.

The biggest concern now is, even if I don't extend my contract, what will I do with my free time? What would Agent Smith do if he had assimilated every being on Earth? To make things even more dramatic, the RJCO concert is also at the end of May. Which means that all the fanfare and acceleration, excitement and drumrolls will cease in unison come June 1st. And I foresee that that is going to leave a hollow ringing echo behind; the sound of silence.

What are my options offhand? I could (should) resume frisbee, if only to ensure I don't need to replace all my jeans come September. I guess I could pursue the whole volunteering thing that I checked out awhile back. But I don't think that would be particularly exciting either. It somehow feels sad and pathetic that I have to reason things out this way, brainstorming for ideas as fillers for my remaining days in Singapore before The Big Move.

Everything coalesces next week. I (might) say farewell to my colleagues and comfortable office, whom I have become accustomed to over the past 3-4 months. I will also bid adieu to RJCO (possibly the REAL final goodbye this time). Tuition draws to a close, in conjunction with the end of the academic year. The football season ends with a blue-ribbon flourish. And did I mention that the Distant Worlds concert will be over by then? For now, I guess it's one day a time; one step at a time.

on verra

Many Thanks

2009-05-07T13:28:00.001+08:00

The following is a public note I posted on my Facebook profile, and I decided to copy it here as well, should anyone care to drop by.

You have every right to be disappointed. In fact, I would question your level of personal investment in terms of time and energy, if you were not disappointed after yesterday's results. I would like to say I know exactly how you feel, because I (and my fellow members in 2005) felt the same way when our results were announced.

And yet, I cannot make such a claim. Because while we had our late night practices as well, they were different from the ones you had. Because while we had our own determination and vigour, each person ultimately will have his/her own unique motivations for striving for the top prize. Because ours was the first SYF where GWH was introduced, so there wasn't as much 'expectation' from within. Because only one school got GWH in our year, so there was less pain to go around, and more people (outside RJCO) to share it with us.

So I cannot claim to know precisely how you feel right now. But I will make an educated guess, based on my own experience. Perhaps you feel empty; dejected. After the dust has settled, perhaps you will question, was it worth your while, all that stress and late nights and overdue assignments, and above all, all the hopes and aspirations you had pinned to this single day. Perhaps you feel a lingering sense of anticlimax, because the emotions and dreams you had built up over the past few weeks, nay, months, would either be fulfilled or destroyed in an instant; a mere collection of words out of the announcer's mouth. That was how I felt back in 2005, and I'm certain that most of my batchmates had their own personally-customised rollercoaster rides as well.

But not all is despair, for there is also much to be grateful for. I was grateful for the times I spent with friends and peers. Of course it wasn't always smiles and rainbows, but such experiences are the ones we live for. I was grateful for the opportunity to taste failure in a serious, yet practically inconsequential situation. By definition, all members of RJCO are accustomed to succeeding at many, if not most, of their endeavours. The danger of this is that we may become too complacent, and expect things to drop at our feet at will. (don't get me wrong, i'm not accusing anyone of complacency here, just emphasising the risk it brings) Yet it is also a boon, for addiction to the sweet taste of victory is the only motivation we will need to recover from such a setback.

So, by all means, despair a little, cry a little. But always keep looking towards the future out of the corner of your eye, for further challenges await.

~ ~ ~

I would like to thank all of you, the current members of RJCO, for reminding me of my days in school. (I would use the phrase "the heady days of my youth", but I don't think I meet the age requirement for that yet) I'm sure many of my fellow alumni members would agree with me when I say that visiting school, sitting in for your practices, watching the concert last year; all these experiences are exercises in time travel that bring us back, momentarily, to the wonderful times of the past. It has been exceedingly depressing, for we are reminded that we will never have such experiences again, but it also has been invigorating, for we look forward even more to what is to come *cough30thmaycough*

So in conclusion to this rambling note, be grateful for everything you do now, and appreciate the people around you today, for they are a unique collection of individuals that you will miss dearly when you are eventually out of school.

Stunning, just absolutely stunning.

2009-05-04T17:43:00.002+08:00

Just when I thought the AWARE saga was going to die down, with the excitement bubbling away, I welcomed a new week by opening my room window, only to be hit in the face by the distinct aroma emanating from this latest pack of b***shit:

http://sg.christianpost.com/dbase/editorial/454//1.htm

Well, at least SOME people dare to be forthright with their views. Well this article makes Darth Thio's Asking-For-It skills look amateurish. Hopefully more people will sit up and realise that this threat is for real, and not the figment of an overly-paranoid freethinker's mind (though I wish it were).

Inferno's Law of Shit Happens, or how to operate in the lab without driving yourself crazy

2009-03-06T17:10:00.012+08:00

It's quite simple in theory, really. When the shit hits the fan, you gotta tell yourself that SHIT HAPPENS, and get round to fixing it before more excreta gets flung around the room. Luckily, having accepted the Law into my life some time back already, I have become relatively adept at not panicking, or venting my frustration on whatever unfortunate person/object is nearby. In fact, there is no frustration to vent, once you get good enough at it.

Life is moving at an uneventful pace. I guess it's partly because work has taken awhile to pick up steam. And all the damned matches seem be at zombiephilic timings. But what the heck, this is the last season I'll get to spam live matches, and by Jove am I gonna abuse it to the max. The only other things to look forward are Saturdays (finally getting to sleep in + RJCO retrotime = awesome). And the Distant Worlds concert.

And did I mention how the whole "leaving in six months" stuff gets to one's head? Now it's like, if I see somebody I might have the remotest interest in, the booming voice in my head automatically goes "BUT YOU'RE GTFO-ING IN SIX MONTHS DUUUUUUDE" and ... well that's a debate-stopper if I've ever seen one.

Ah whatever, this is a lame post. Nothing to do while waiting for the stupid PCR to finish.

You Only Live Once

2009-03-04T23:57:00.002+08:00

Kekeke, sorry guys, for denying you good seats for the FF concert xp
I admit that I camped the SISTIC website so that I could book at 9am sharp, though I was late for some ... weekly research updates thanks to that. (it wasn't compulsory!)
Well I was feeling ecstatic and fatalistic at the same time. Thus, to make up for missing PLAY! two years ago, I just took the $80 ticket =p (before discount). Whatever man. Not like I'm gonna get another FF concert on my doorstep anytime soon. And this is probably the closest I'll ever get to playing any of the pieces as part of an orchestra lol (esp. since I won't be back in time for any RJCO concerts in the future ...) But whatever. I reckon I'll bump into more than a few acquaintances that night, since it'll be da place to be. I can hardly wait.

Why I think SETI is a good idea

2009-03-03T11:51:00.005+08:00

SETI - the Search for Extra-Terrestrial Intelligence. The name itself is rather self-explanatory, but if you're interested in reading up more, Captain Wikipedia is on standby to sate your desire: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/SETI

Putting aside arguments against trying to make contact with ET lifeforms (if they do exist), from a hypothetical viewpoint, I do look forward to such an occurrence, should it happen eventually. Why? Because this is perhaps one of the most definitive ways to prove/disprove religion. If the aliens have the same identical faith as one of the theist religions on Earth, then that would be pretty sufficient evidence in favour of said religion. However ... if they do not, then that would conclusively tip the scales in favour of secularism. Of course, I'm conspicuously leaving the anthropomorphic tenets of most major religions aside for now (it could be argued that the mere proof of existence of sentient alien beings alone would sound the death-knell for theism).

Of course, this is not to say that I 'hope' that the latter situation will take place. Naturally, I would be biased towards it, but as practitioners of the scientific method, we must always remind ourselves to step back and observe things objectively, and to reject our past-held beliefs and assumptions in the face of opposing evidence. Thus, I think such a meeting would please me to no end regardless of which path of the fork it takes, since it would end the mother of all debates conclusively, once and for all.

$ matters

2009-02-25T22:30:00.019+08:00

So for those who know me well, it expeditiously becomes self-evident that I'm not the type who is obsessed about money/being rich in the future etc (since I rarely spend on anything anyway). But I do have personal standards.

My internship contract at GIS says my allowance is $540 only. I was mildly surprised, because I thought I recalled a senior, KH, telling me he got $65/day last year for his attachment. But I shrugged it off as Post-Wall-Street-F-Up-Stress-Disorder. All was fine and dandy for two weeks, until a close friend, J, started his attachment at BTI. His allowance? $700. Now that may not seem significantly higher at first glance, but lo and behold, it's practically 1/3 more than mine. To put things in perspective, my attachment is for four months (for now), and his is about three months long. So I literally earn $60 more for that one more month of work ($2160 - $2100). Which translates to $3/day. Which translates to $1/day/lunch, after transport. Which, IMHO, is just RATHER SLIGHTLY POSSIBLY A TEENY BIT STINGY don't you think (read: parsimonious). Admin's reply?

"... at GIS the amount given to you is what undergraduates receive. I hope this clarifies things."

please see--> http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/WordOfGod

It gets better.

Today, we bumped into ZW at the food court. Apparently he started at IBN on the same day as me, but Biopolis being Biopolis, we both didn't know the other was around till now. Guess what? His allowance was $65/day. Sounds vaguely familiar? (See paragraph 2 line 3). Oh but THAT'S NOT ALL. Purportedly, JC and LZ also started their attachments recently at Fusionopolis, and *SUPPLIES!* they're also getting $65/day!

Three words to describe this: Vas Der Ficken

Pardon my French. To put things in perspective further, $1300 > ($700 + $540). I mean, I wasn't fussing over the amount originally, but surely any sane person would feel some level of injustice when faced with such a circumstance (assuming he passed P1 maths). Thusly, we went to the Big (not Biggest) Bosse and parlayed with her. So apparently the amount is at each institute's complete discretion. But I'm mildly disturbed that in one year, it can plummet from $1300 -> $540. I didn't know it was pegged to the damned NYSE! So She pledged to "look into it". Hopefully, our Deus Angst Machina will work this time.

So I guess $ matters do matter after all.

Without Fail

2009-02-22T12:14:00.003+08:00

So looks like wet sand isn't as icky as I had expected. Although having to sit through the periodic showers was rather irritating. My perspiration kept getting washed into my eyes, causing a stinging sensation. That hasn't happened since like, route march in BMT =x

First time it ever poured while I was on Sentosa. End of the lucky streak I guess, same as Man U's. But oh well. What an inopportune time to resume beach. Though I had plenty of fun and practice, the irony is that I won't be able to make it on Saturdays till June or so, since Saturday afternoon = prime time CO practice. And weekdays seem suicidal as well. zomg.

plus good

2009-02-09T22:19:00.003+08:00

So anyway I'm at GIS now. Not exactly earth-shattering news, especially considering that the people who actually bother to read this know pretty much all there is to know already. The lowdown: I'm interning / attaching till June or so. Supposedly, that's when shizzle like OBS kicks in, so I'll have to take it as it comes then. Hopefully if it's not too disruptive I'll just continue.

OMG THIS THURSDAY 12TH FEB IS 200TH ANNIVERSARY OF CHARLES DARWIN'S BIRTH!

*annnnnnd we're back from that advertisement break*
Hmm so that's about it for now. I've been reading papers and Wikipedia no thanks to the supplier who screwed up our primers. There were 24 in the batch, and two failed QC. So they held back the ENTIRE BATCH just because of two, when they could've sent the OK 22 first. Catch-22 my ass.

More mail for the University. Got one month to reconfirm, plus submit housing application. Looks like things are finally picking up. Cut the chatter ladies, we're going in.

eight months to go

2009-01-15T15:31:00.002+08:00

well then, the time has come to decide whether to build up the grand overarching plotlines of my life, or to let it pass as a mere filler episode.

new role model: dr carl sagan
world-renowned astronomer, science fiction writer and science populariser
probably one of the most inspirational figureheads for science, ever
why? coz he can explain complicated concepts in simple terms for the layman
who will take over his mantle? we shall see

Why I hope Barry will win

2008-11-04T23:04:00.034+08:00

As the election results have yet to be announced just yet (I think), I thought I should just highlight a few reasons why I am in favour of Barack Obama. Throughout the thought process, I have tried to stand in the shoes of an American citizen, not as a Singaporean, whose country's fortunes are inevitably tied to those of our friend across the Pacific.

-Taxes

John McCain promises to lower taxes for all income groups. Obama promises to lower taxes for all but the high income groups (whose taxes will increase), so as to enable more tax cuts for the low- and middle-class than McCain's. Some say it's redistribution of wealth, or socialism. What they fail to realise is that the definition of 'high income' here is US$227k and above annual income. That translates to US$18.9k per month. Call me ignorant or naive, but that's a huge sum by any decent standards. A president is responsible for the whole spectrum of society, and if anybody should contribute more to aiding the less well-off it should be those with obscene salaries. Redistribution? Get real! With incomes that high, those guys will be holding onto their standings in the wealth rankings for a long time to come.

-Iraq

McCain wants to stay as long as necessary to 'finish the job'. Obama wants to get the hell out, to put it simply. McCain supported the initial invasion, Obama opposed it. Well, personally I think it was a huge mistake to go in in the first place, what with the non-existent-WMD debacle and all. US troopers are dying out there, for no conceivable reason except euphemistic slogans such as 'Democracy!' and 'Freedom!', yet the local populace seems to have taken for granted the temporary reprieve the blood of these soldiers has bought them. Since they can't fix themselves, and since the US doesn't seem to be able to fix it anytime soon, at least not with this military presence, then why bother to pour in the money and men into this bottomless pit? If no favourable end is in sight, then obviously one should withdraw ASAP to 'minimise' (what a joke) losses.

-Abortion

McCain is pro-life, Obama is in favour of legal abortions. Personally I am in favour of allowing abortion with strictly controls and regulation. For the simple reason that banning it officially will only lead to gambles in back-alleys or worse. Pro-choice is the way to go. If the couple / single mother is unwilling and/or unable to raise the child in a proper, loving environment, then it is definitely an option to consider. Studies have shown how the environment a child is born into and raised in has major impact on his/her future contribution to society, specifically with regards to criminal tendencies. Now I'm not saying I'm in favour of background profiling or anything, but LET'S FACE IT, if you think banning abortion wouldn't contribute to the crime rate then either you're high on crack or ... you're high on crack.

-Gun control

Einstein once said, "Only two things in this world are infinite; the universe and human stupidity. And I'm not so sure about the former." Is there really no end to how dumb people can get? I mean like, opposing restrictions on ASSAULT RIFLES? These ain't PEA-SHOOTERS we're talking about here! I mean like, you think the Russians are gonna drop paratroopers across the country to invade the homes of private citizens? (no offense to any Russians, just rhetoric). McCain has opposed the "waiting periods" for purchase of firearms. The waiting period means that you have to cool-off for one week (usually) or so after ordering the weapon, before you actually get to take it into your possession. This commonsensical legislation is to minimise spur-of-the-moment incidents. Wow this is one whole can of worms. One wonders why he's not applying the same mode of thinking to his stand on nuclear weapons. "Oh, it's every nation's fundamental right to own nuclear weapons. But since N.Korea and Iran have some in their backyard, I want you physics dudes to build me a bigger one just in case." (he actually supports the reduction of the US' nuclear arsenal to encourage likewise disarmament of other countries)

-Stem cell research

Well this sort of brings us back to the abortion argument, fundamentally (no pun intended, honest). Both candidates are in favour of it, but not-surprisingly Sarah Palin is opposed to it because of her pro-life stand on pretty much everything except gun laws. "(McCain) states that he believes that stem cell research, and indeed embryonic stem cell research, will continue whether or not the U.S. sanctions it, and so it would be the wisest course of action to support it to the extent that the United States will be able to regulate and monitor the use." Perfectly reasoned! So why aren't you applying the same concept to abortion?

-Sarah Palin

What can I say? Sarah I-Can-Has-Foreign-Policy-Experience-Because-Alaska-Is-Neighbours-With-Russia Palin? One 72-year-old's heartbeat (or lack of one, to be precise) away from the Big Red Button? Creationism in schools? Sending soldiers to die in Iraq is "a task that is from God"? I literally shudder to think of the state of affairs should this travesty ever come to pass. I mean, sure, she may be a swell Governor and hockey mom, but GODDAMN (whoops) this is VPOTUS WE'RE TALKING ABOUT HERE. You know, every other comparison between Obama and McCain PALes IN comparison with this issue. And it's an issue every sane person out there (myself included) has a BIG PROBLEM with. I could have skipped everything above this paragraph, and in my mind, Sarah Palin would still have clinched it for Obama. What's this, an appeal to redneck voters? I never imagined the Republicans would be THIS desperate.

Well whatever happens, I will get to experience the aftermath of this election firsthand for three of the four years of the next administration. If Obama wins, well and good, but he has much to live up to, after all his uplifting rhetoric and promises. Otherwise, the fall will be a spectacular one, and tragic for the world at large. If McCain wins ... well at least I'm exempted from Iraq call-ups.

First Principles

2008-10-21T19:56:00.003+08:00

Jeremy's Law of Smartness:

Smart people know what they want, and (strive to) get it.

This simply means, 'smart people' are not necessarily the ones who do well academically / win championships, etc. If you have an aspiration, and work hard in that particular direction, and thus achieve it, then you are as smart and rational as the best of us.

Thus a simple iteration leads to --

Yixuan's Uncertainty Principle:

If you're currently uncertain about what you truly want in life, then the next, perfectly reasonable, step to take would be to do as well as you can right now, wherever you are, thereby keeping as many options open as possible for the future.

Thus from first principles, there IS a completely rational, completely commonsensical justification for general hard work and fighting spirit, on a day-to-day basis, whoever you may be. Even if you do well now, only to find your calling in a 'lesser' vocation which you could have attained without doing anything at all, the odds still favour those who strive, in that they have a proportionately higher chance of achieving a state of ideal happiness.

LFG

2008-09-22T15:52:00.001+08:00

L19.9 Druid LFG something to do after ORD. Work / leisure / whatever. Ideas plsthx.

Anyway, perhaps I should just jump off the cliff, and pray the parachute opens ...

68

2008-09-03T23:29:00.002+08:00

It's sad eh, that when people ask me what's up, the only think I have to offer that jumps to mind is the countdown. Not that anybody could be faulted for that, but ... even after it's over, what happens? No fireworks, no party poppers. Just every man back to his own existence. Perhaps I shall retreat into a closed room and settle my ancient duel with the piano once and for all.

Should I have even entertained such thoughts in the first place? Knowing how I'm too indecisive and cowardly when it comes to such matters? Perhaps for some challenges, there is no correct answer. I love a good challenge, but maybe, just maybe, the stakes are too high this time round.

Oh, apathy, always the bane of ambition.

"It burns! It burns us!"
- Gollum

Sadness and Sorrow
~ Naruto OST

The Bucket List

2008-08-22T15:53:00.003+08:00

So with the count standing at 80 days today, it is time to start planning ahead.

0. Watch LOTR once through without stopping (@!#$@#%$&^ how could I not have done this before??)

1. Brain Therapy -- i.e. revise stuff properly (not the random approach I've adopted so far)

2. Tuition? Relief teaching? || JOB OPENINGS APPRECIATED THX ||

3. Settle lab attachment.

4. Achieve a decent standard of frisbee playing (i.e. no feeding, less apologising required / game).

5. Study French properly.

6. Refine piano skillz (or lack thereof).

7. Pick up guitar for real.

8. > Tier 4 gear. (depends on whether I'm still playing by then =p)

9. Starcraft 2.

10. LFG OVERSEAS HOLIDAY SOMEWHERE, PST FOR INVITE!!!11

The Coming Storm

2008-08-14T08:50:00.001+08:00

The Manchester United juggernaut is back this weekend to lay some smackdown!
Tremble before us!
Gaze upon our works, ye mighty, and despair!

If You're Not The One

2008-08-08T11:34:00.002+08:00

If you’re not the one then why does my soul feel glad today?
If you’re not the one then why does my hand fit yours this way?
If you are not mine then why does your heart return my call
If you are not mine would I have the strength to stand at all

I never know what the future brings
But I know you are here with me now
We’ll make it through
And I hope you are the one I share my life with

I don’t want to run away but I can’t take it, I don’t understand
If I’m not made for you then why does my heart tell me that I am?
Is there any way that I can stay in your arms?

If I don’t need you then why am I crying on my bed?
If I don’t need you then why does your name resound in my head?
If you’re not for me then why does this distance maim my life?
If you’re not for me then why do I dream of you as my wife?

I don’t know why you’re so far away
But I know that this much is true
We’ll make it through
And I hope you are the one I share my life with
And I wish that you could be the one I die with
And I pray in you’re the one I build my home with
I hope I love you all my life

I don’t want to run away but I can’t take it, I don’t understand
If I’m not made for you then why does my heart tell me that I am
Is there any way that I can stay in your arms?

‘Cause I miss you, body and soul so strong that it takes my breath away
And I breathe you into my heart and pray for the strength to stand today
‘Cause I love you, whether it’s wrong or right
And though I can’t be with you tonight
And know my heart is by your side

I don’t want to run away but I can’t take it, I don’t understand
If I’m not made for you then why does my heart tell me that I am
Is there any way that I can stay in your arms?

Enlightenment

2008-08-06T09:34:00.002+08:00

the curtains have been drawn
the blinds pulled up
the veil lifted

questions
confusion
torment

was it blindness
was it delusion
was it self-denial

onetwothreefourfivesixseven
godgivemestrengthtocarryon

The Roots of Morality

2008-08-01T13:56:00.002+08:00

http://www.ebonmusings.org/atheism/carrot&stick.html

I came across a link to this outstanding dissertation while browsing Pharyngula. It's a very easy read despite it's length, and is extremely thought-provoking. Another recommended read, in my opinion.

The Dark Knight

2008-07-23T09:03:00.047+08:00

Easily the best film I've watched in a long time. I thoroughly enjoyed Batman Begins, but never did I expect the sequel to take the story to such a higher level. Yes, it is long at 153mins, but trust me, you won't feel it. It was a non-stop whirlwind of action that left me stunned in silence at the end, the only thought in my head being "When is the next opportunity for me to watch it again?"

WARNING: SPOILERS AHEAD

The Dark Knight explores the darker (ahem) side of the human psyche. It fleshes out The Joker as a man with crazed ideals, but in reality just as sane as the next person on the street. What makes him deadly is his penchant for unbridled, merciless, unconscionable violence, and his horrifying talent for drawing out the fallibility of his fellow men, and exploiting them to the maximum. This was poignantly brought to the fore in the climatic showdown between the passengers of the two evacuation ferries, who each held the detonators to the bombs planted on other boat, and were told that if both were still afloat at midnight, then our merry villain would blow both boats up anyway. One possible plotline that was (obviously) not developed was that the detonators might very well have been for their own respective boats, and so whoever managed to summon the (dubious) courage to press the button would have inflicted punishment on himself and his fellow passengers for their 'immorality' (credit to D for pointing out this devious possibility). But I digress.

The scene brought to mind the classic Prisoner's Dilemma with a twist, in that the penalty for indecision on the part of both parties would be mutual destruction, or so The Joker claimed (he did try to fulfill his 'promise' with his own backup detonator, but fortunately was thwarted by the caped crusader). One boat was filled with normal citizens, while the other was filled with convicts and their guards. One part that stuck in my mind was, when the 'normal people' were arguing over whether they had the right to push the button, the boat's captain remarked that "we're still alive" (wtte), which implied that the other boat had not pressed the button either. Then of course there was the 'feel-good' (albeit, slightly unoriginal, but who cares?) bit where this towering black convict told the police officer in charge to pass him the detonator so he could "do what you should have done ten minutes ago". The officer, torn between moral apathy (and the resulting doom) and cold-blooded self-preservation, handed the device to the convict, who promptly tossed it out the window. While this plot point may have seemed hackneyed and predictable to some, it was actually quite a crucial development in the storyline. It was the key behind the failure of The Joker's diabolical plan, which was to show how normal citizens could sink below the levels of commonly-accepted (and taken for granted) civility and morality.

The other two instances where this issue was highlighted were when The Joker blackmailed the people of Gotham, saying that he would keep killing people / destroy a hospital if Batman did not turn himself in (thus revealing his true identity), and if a particular accountant (who was about to reveal said identity on live television) was not dead within the hour, respectively. Ordinary citizens became unstable weapons, with their strings pulled by the master puppeteer behind in the shadows. Ordinary people bayed for the blood of the selfless man who fought for the safety of their city without proper recognition. It showed the worst of humankind, that even a character who sacrificed so much (including, in a way, the woman of his dreams) for others could be deprived of a refuge in the hearts and minds of the people he was striving to defend in his own pragmatic way. It showed how the average guy on the street could be manipulated into attempting murder, just by the threats of a deranged psychopath. This was terrorism at its debasing best. Why merely use fear as a tool to keep people in their homes? Why not use fear as a catalyst for populations to degenerate into an inferno of chaos, savagery and barbarism?

Which brings us to the The Joker's ultimate goal. He was not truly motivated by money, or violence, or suffering. He was motivated by anarchy, a self-proclaimed agent of chaos, a Pandora exposing the baseness of humankind. His sole goal was to destroy the belief and hope that good people like Batman, Harvey Dent and Jim Gordon had brought to the city-dwellers, by corrupting their ultimate symbol of incorruptibility, the White Knight of Gotham, Dent himself. Brilliant, masterly, and so, so tragic. The film ends with Batman making the ultimate sacrifice of all (short of turning himself in, which in a way might have been the easier path to take), which was to take all the responsiblity for the deaths caused by Dent's misplaced rage, and thus preserve his (Dent's) image in the public eye as the hero of the masses, while effectively turning himself into an exile, a fugitive in his own city. As Gordon's young son put it so poignantly, "But he's done nothing wrong!" Therein lies the true tragedy in the movie. Not the deaths of Rachel Dawes and other innocents, or even the fall from grace of justice's greatest servant in the form of Dent. Will Batman disappear into the shadows and cease being the vigilante guardian angel of Gotham? I highly doubt it. He'll probably shoulder on, but this time with the antagonism of both the criminals and his fellow crimefighters. That is his destiny, his Atlas-esque curse, and yet his gift; to be able to be the difference that few others could aspire to be. That is why Batman will forever be the ultimate heroic character in my heart, and I'm certain that in this, I am not alone.

My thoughts so far

2008-07-18T10:41:00.019+08:00

I've been going through many of my friends' blogs recently, and their comments of NS in general have ranged from doom and gloom to indifference to grudging acceptance. Thus far, I have refrained from discussing my own experience, due to the fact that mine has been a rather ... different life from the majority, and there's pretty damned little to talk about it in the first place. Which explains why I tend to take a backseat when others tell their own stories, content to soak in as much as I can from the sweatborne tales of my peers.

As my own term draws to a close (I'm being relative here, 3.75 months is short by most people's standards), I guess I'll just open up on some of the things I've reflected on over the past 1.5 years plus.

I was downgraded in SISPEC just over a year back, and was posted to my current department (notice I don't instinctively use the word 'camp' or 'unit' here) on 7th May 2007. SAFTI MI is really quite a wonderful working environment to have in the context of the other 'options' within the SAF. I was pleasantly surprised on the first day I came in, largely due to my impression of SAFTI as an ageing, dusty complex like so many of its compatriots. But I was to be proven so wrong. The contrast between SAFTI and the average SAF camp is pretty drastic to be honest.

CLD. "I work at the Centre of Leadership Development in SAFTI MI." Many atimes I have repeated this statement to friends and family alike, only to be met with blank stares and slight nods of semi-acknowledgement. Thus, to provide some hint as to our existence, I automatically follow up with the next line, "Oh, we do stuff like the 7 core values stuff" which tends to elicit more life out of the guys, together with smirks and sarcastic remarks (in a good-natured way). What does CLD really do? We develop and implement tools and frameworks for leaders to improve their management skills, as well as drive the SAF-wide focus on personal development. It's truly a backroom job, but trust me, ask any senior commander worth his salt, and he will grudgingly acknowledge that what we're doing is a thankless yet absolutely crucial job. Granted, the Boss may have built up quite a fearsome reputation for extreme enthusiasm and overall aggressiveness, but hey, you need someone like that at the top of a place like this. If you don't make yourself heard, who's gonna bother listening out for you?

What do I like most about CLD? That it's probably as close to a non-military organisation as you can get within the SAF, except perhaps the Army Museum. Now don't get me wrong here, I don't mean that there's no discipline and everything's chaotic or whatever. It's the people that make up CLD. While there are individuals with conflicting management styles and such, that's inevitable. I wish to highlight one major point, which is the one thing I am most grateful for in this place, and that is lack of an incentive to slack.

If that stunned you for a second, go back and re-read it. In some places, people who do things fast and efficiently get loaded with more (usually mundane / downright menial)work, or at the very least get berated for 'sitting around doing nothing'. Now what sort of attitude does this sort of climate cultivate? It's pretty obvious. There is absolutely no motivation to be task-oriented and efficient. Why bother to do things efficiently, if you're gonna get whacked for having 'free time' after that? You might as well take your time, and act busy. Sometimes this is described as 'wayang'. Amazingly, there exists a word in the English language that sums up this phenomenon perfectly. It's called 'boondoggling'. Dictionary.com defines it as "work of little or no value done merely to keep or look busy". Bullseye, no? To aggravate matters, a lot of superiors fail to think through the implications of their management policies, and take the easy way out. Which is to overload the hardworking, reliable guys (I speak from personal experience here, and yes I was in this category) while 'closing both eyes' with regards to the slackers. So guess what? The decent guys get thoroughly pwned for being 'good', while the slackers just vegetate more. In my book, that would be defined as ASKING FOR IT. I'm not even asking for gratitude or compliments of any sort. But such a system is just encouraging slackers to slack more, while quite literally PUSHING the good people over to the dark side. Brains, plsthx???

Anyway, enough of ranting (if you guessed that I was complaining about my SISPEC experience, you're spot on). Thankfully, such failings do not exist to such a despicable extent in CLD, if at all.

Reflections. People always assume by default that an active combat vocation is far tougher than a service one like mine. I whole heartedly agree. I'd be lying through my teeth if I said I was dissatisfied with the way things are right now. Yet, I have not laid back and taken things for granted. I like to believe that I am missing out on countless learning opportunities relative to my peers, if only to spur me on to try and do something worthwhile with my bonus time. Sure, having a driving license when you ORD may look cool to some. But you can always go for driving lessons after ORD. Some other lessons, you only get this one chance in your life to experience.

Time is a gift, but only if you spend it wisely. It can very easily become a curse, the moment your self-motivation and drive shuts down due to lack of stimulation. I think I've come through rather unscathed, thanks largely to regular visits to the library (maybe I should tally up the bookcount come November), driving (to a small extent), French lessons and my good ol' piano at home. WoW doesn't count; it just serves as an entertainment outlet to balance out the more serious stuff. My fitness (what little there was in the first place) has definitely suffered, but I'm working on it, and will continue to do so after ORD. Frisbee, anyone?

Work these days seems to be winding down, in proportion to my amount of time left (not like it's within my control). So it would appear that everything is getting ready for my departure (which is good). Many-a-times, I have asked myself, if I could do it all over again, would I have done it differently? For now, my answer is a tentative no. And not just because I have a 'good' life right now. Would I have gone through the full 9 weeks of BMT, training hard to get into command school, only to end up behind a computer? That's an emphatic yes. If not for BMT, I wouldn't have imagined I could march 24KM in FBO. If not for BMT, I probably would have been less aware of my fallibility and shortcomings. While I cannot claim to have made that many new friends then, their company was still greatly appreciated.

So you won't hear me complaining much about NS after the dust has settled. I'm rather proud of how I've managed to maintain some semblance of my mental faculties despite the intellectual backwater I find myself in at times. Though I wonder how I'm gonna explain it all to my kids, without destroying their motivation to strive towards achieving their maximum potential, when the time comes.

The call of reason(ableness)

2008-07-16T14:08:00.004+08:00

About a month back, I posted a link to an article on TheOnlineCitizen.com, where the author made the point that religion is given too much leeway and protection in our society. This is largely due to laws that can be used to clamp down on individuals who have been deemed to have done or said things that are 'offensive' to certain religions. The definition of 'offensive' is so wide that almost every intelligent citizen would choose to toe the line instead of 'risk' crossing it. But is there really a need for such babysitting? Does this law have the potential to be exploited for nefarious deeds?

Before I go on, allow me to state my stand clearly. At no point in time am I trying to advocate 'bashing' or 'insulting' of religions. Even though I am a freethinker, and agree with many views held by atheists and secular humanists, I would not condone a free-for-all mud-slinging session. My personal opinion is that without a doubt, everyone should be allowed their own personal space to practice their own religion, and others should respect this personal space, so long as it does not infringe on the personal space of others. This seems like a pretty straightforward, easily-fulfilled clause isn't it? Sure, nobody's trying to force religion down your throat! But is religious influence merely restricted to personal interactions and beliefs? It would be naive of one to think so.

Case in point: Genetic modification and chimeras.

Sometime last year, the Singapore's top bioethics committee opened an online forum for citizens to post their views on whether the creation of chimeras for laboratory experimentation should be allowed or banned in our country. To my great dismay, there were responses that were based entirely on religious foundations, along the (all too familiar) lines of "God created life the way it is, so we should not tamper with it" or "Who are we to play God?" I posted a reply asking why the government's decision should be influenced by a religious opinion, and someone actually wrote back angrily, saying that I was being very offensive. Well then. Hmm let's see ... Islam is against the consumption of pork. Therefore the AVA should ban all pork products? Come on!

Sure, it was merely an opinion, but I'd be pleasantly surprised if such close-minded individuals are few and far between in our society today. What has science got to do with religion? Should scientists even bother to consult religious leaders before the next step? What if the religious leader comes back and says, no sorry, that (e.g.) technology is against my religion, so I oppose it (look at the Pope on genetic modification). Then what? Are you going to back down? Obviously not right? So why even bother to ask in the first place? This has got nothing to do with ethics! Arguments from ethics involve things such as potential abuse of such technology, where to draw the boundaries, etc. On the other hand, all it takes is a slip of the tongue and someone gets rapped (hard), and more individuals will choose the safe route and keep their opinions to themselves in the future. Is that what we want as a society?

Before engaging in any such discussions, people should go and read Richard Dawkins' book, The God Delusion. Hopefully Singaporean society is liberal enough to permit debate and interaction based on the contents of such books. Of course, he does religion no favours, but he highlights a worrisome phenomenon that is on the rise elsewhere. According to the book, the religious power blocs in America have horrifyingly high levels of influence on issues that should remain in the secular domain (is anyone truly surprised by this 'news'?). Issues such as the teaching of evolution vs creationist nonsense in SCIENCE class (no less). Issues such as the Israeli (Judaism) vs Palestinian (Muslim) deadlock. Issues such as whether stem cell researchers should be given expanded funding and leeway to alleviate the suffering of countless patients everywhere. Where does such power come from?

Religion has the power to overwhelm any secular force, simply because of faith. Faith means that one should believe and trust in someone/something else without question. Even if contrary evidence is right before one's eyes. And it is upheld as a praise-worthy virtue. Why is this potentially dangerous? It is because all we need is one religious leader (presumably, a charismatic one) to lead his followers astray, and they might just listen and agree and support him without a moment's pause for thought. You may argue that oh, we are not robots, we can think for ourselves. But since when has religion espoused individual thought and questioning of leaders' interpretations of what is right and wrong? This is the crux of the secularists' arguments.

While politicians (and leaders in almost any other organisation) are (generally) elected through democratic processes, and have to earn the right to office by demonstrating ability (usually) and intelligence (hopefully), are religious leaders decided based on their critical thinking skills and ability to analyse issues of national concern? Of course, that is not to say that religious leaders are incapable of objective reasoning. But it's definitely a point worth ruminating on. Why is that when a religious leader gives his (I am not using the male pronoun here merely out of convenience) views on some non-religious topic, everybody nods their heads and strokes their chins in silent agreement? Are we too afraid to speak up? Then again, how can you argue against a religious point of view? After all, it is based on dogma, right? How can one possibly argue against dogma (and not get thrown into jail for sedition)?

Why are you of this opinion? Because my religion says so.
Why does your religious say thus? Because!

Real-life example:

Jehovah's Witness: My religion does not allow me to bear arms. Full stop.
Conscientious Objector (Freethinker): After much reflection and thought, I have come to the conclusion that war is ethically wrong, and thus I refuse to bear arms.

No prizes for guessing whose appeal will prevail.

America is a classic example. Religious fundamentalists bomb abortion clinics, because their pastors tell them that abortion is wrong and against Christianity. How many truly thought for themselves and came to their own conclusions? In 1994, Paul Hill, a pastor, used his shotgun and killed a doctor who ran an abortion clinic. His last, unrepentant words before being executed for murder in 2003?
"I'm certainly, to be quite honest, I'm expecting a great reward in heaven for my obedience." If this is not shocking to you, I don't know what is. And there are religious groups that hold him up as a MARTYR.

What is the difference between this situation, and that of suicide bombers in various Middle Eastern nations, who sacrifice themselves on demand just because their imams told them to? The answer is, there is no difference. This is the potential danger if we are not vigilant.

This is not a call to arms, or anything of that sort. This is an attempt to raise the public's awareness to an issue that has always been lying just below the surface of public debate; always on everybody's mind, yet too volatile to be spoken / written about. Is religion truly above objective criticism? By 'objective', I mean stuff like "Apostates should not be persecuted because this is a secular country, and besides, it's not like they had a choice anyway, since they were indoctrinated from young by their parents and community." NOT unconstructive, stupid stuff like "I think your religion is evil because all ______s are terrorists." I have refrained from using the word 'inflammatory' here, because it is just as vague as the word 'offensive'. Anything short of pure adulation can be deemed 'offensive' or 'inflammatory', depending on the one's level of belief and personal interpretation.

Fortunately I have yet to encounter Singaporeans who are as single-minded and beyond reason as some influential individuals in America, who are striving to turn the country into a theocracy. For a list of examples, do visit the following website: http://adultthought.ucsd.edu/Culture_War/The_American_Taliban.html. Some of the individuals quoted there are in REALLY powerful positions in the government (e.g. GWB himself, no less), while many others are religious leaders who hold the sway of huge congregations. Do not be fooled into a false sense of security, just because this is in a 'far away' country. Such influence can easily spread over seas, overnight. Also, if the fundamentalists do win (they had better not, for the sake of the world), are you naive enough to believe that our tiny island state will not suffer from a tidal wave of religious overtures and pressure?

I sincerely hope that every thinking citizen in Singapore will do their best to be aware of the potential threat, and work together to keep our country a welcome place for everyone, regardless of their faith. Do not let things degenerate to the state of other countries we see today, who are secular only in name.

Why I Don't (Wanna) Believe in IQ or WYX's Hard Work Hypothesis

2008-07-07T16:48:00.006+08:00

Simply put, because it cheapens the effort people put into achieving their goals. Same goes for this whole 'giftedness' thing. Sure, there's probably a continuous distribution out there when it comes to 'intelligence', but even then, 'intelligence' is such a wide-ranging term that has far greater implications than merely within academics. Same goes for 'giftedness' and whatever else you wanna call it. I think it just encourages people to develop this mental model that 'smart people' can do calculus and other stuff effortlessly, get a perfect score in an exam with both eyes closed, or perform similar feats. It never occurs to them that the vast majority of people (I know) have put in a tremendous amount of time and sweat to learn and revise properly, etc.

Sure, I know a handful of folks who are really up there when it comes to real ability and (perhaps?) talent, the type that makes you wanna bow down to them or something. But even so. They weren't Born With The Ability To Do Maths (feel free to replace with subject of your choice). Sure, they are miles ahead of almost everyone else now (within our peers) in terms of REALLY high-level knowledge, e.g. the theoretical physics guys. But they still had to start from the foundations, i.e. what they teach at O's and A's. It's just that they learned it earlier / faster, and then bothered to go read up on more advanced, more interesting topics.

See the difference now? You have to go step-wise. Nobody can understand A Level topics without first grasping the corresponding O Level ones. So don't go round thinking that 'oh those buggers were out of reach, out of this world from the very beginning.' That's just bullshit for weaklings. It's a recipe for laziness and the bane of self-confidence. It's just that they GAVE A DAMN. I have no such illusions about my current level of knowledge. I will readily admit that I have made a conscious decision not to attempt to so-called 'catch up' with them in those fields, yet I have also chosen to advance my knowledge in a field of my own choice and preference (in this case evolutionary biology).

It's all about motivation and psychology. If you always point towards 'innate intelligence' or 'talent' when looking at others who have done more than yourself at this point in time, then how can you possibly hope to do better? That's why you have to force yourself NOT to believe in IQ or talent or giftedness or whatever. That's why you have to convince yourself that perseverance+hard work is the way to go. There's no such thing as a free lunch. Every maths pro started out with 1+1=2.

I have used this personal anecdote numerous times in the hope of inspiring others into believing that they can achieve their goals if they have the confidence, and if they put in the prequisite time and effort:

To cut to the chase, I was still failing maths up to Sec 3. In the final common test before prelims, I even got 44/80 for A Maths. But my prelim score was 83% for the exact same subject. Luck? Not at all. I 'merely' did every goddamn past year question that our teacher sent our way. I used the word "merely" with quotation marks, because it was that simple. Applying the similar spirit of consistent effort and conscientiousness in JC, I achieved results that NOBODY would have predicted a mere two years before (including a near perfect score for the first maths common test). Don't dismiss this just because I was from RI or GEP or whatever. Put it in perspective of where I was not too long before that, and the final product after I opened my own eyes.

Of course, I'm not saying that academics and studies are the ONLY way to achieve your dreams. It's just that in today's world, it's inevitable that they are one of the key stepping stones on the path leading to many fields of work. Most people are perfectly aware of this. Most people KNOW what they need to do. But how many of them have psyched themselves up to put in the corresponding effort? Naked ambition is like having a space rocket without any fuel for the engines. All I'm saying is, if you know what you want and how to get there, then why don't you get off your bum and start running towards that finish line?

Heeeeere we go!

2008-07-03T11:57:00.005+08:00

OK then starting from today, I have a grand total of .... NINETY-ONE WORKING DAYS LEFT TILL ORD! Minus leave and off, equals .... EIGHTY WORKING DAYS LEFT TILL ORD!
(oh yeah by the way, most people seem to be unaware that usage of "till" is actually informal and colloquial, since it's a shortform for "until". So theoretically it should be written as " 'til " or something to that effect, since "till" = plowing.

Thing are starting to wind down in a sense ... work's becoming more mechanical, what with the regular timings (finally) for workshops and such. I guess my old mantra still holds true: "Do things fast and well, get them out of the way, and go do your own stuff." Fortunately my workplace environment is one that encourages such efficiency and standards, the same of which cannot be said of some other places I shall not mention here...

280608 UofC Pre-Departure Briefing @ Chicago GSB

Was quite informative and enjoyable. Managed to pick up loads of tips, even though it was (obviously) geared towards the (*lucky*) folks who are going over this year. Bumped into friends both expected and unexpected, and made some new ones. Surprisingly though, I didn't get all morose and taciturn after the session, which I usually am whenever I get caught up in the whole "back to school" fever. I remember the scholarship award ceremony last July, where all the girls were hyped up and us guys were sitting there smoldering in our seats (*literary license invoked*). Maybe I've just accepted it already, or maybe it's 'cause I'm fully aware that my short-lived (could have been shorter though!) duet with the SAF is drawing to a close. The less you think about it, the faster it comes. Just get down to your job, and before you know it, another week's passed by, and j00 are seven days closer to the stair of destiny. Of course there will be those who claim that work's a drag and thus time seems to stand still like ... I don't know ... a wooden spatula in molasses or whatever. But I beg to differ ... YOU decide how you wanna run your life in NS. You can choose to either sit in a corner and whine and bitch about it, or you can get things done and move on to achieving small personal goals that really matter to you. Your call.

WHERE'S MY BLOODY UNDERSTUDY?!?

Random fact of the day:

Name of guild I spotted in Thaurissan yesterday... A E I Own U. LOL! Talk about original and pwnage in a simple phrase like that. Gotta find some opportunity to lay waste with that kekeke...

FTW

2008-06-21T21:35:00.002+08:00

http://theonlinecitizen.com/2008/06/religion-and-the-right-not-to-respect-it/

Finally somebody has expressed views similar to my own, in beautifully-crafted prose nonetheless. It's been a long time coming.

The One Concert To Rule Them All

2008-06-07T22:05:00.013+08:00

So the long-awaited LOTR concert finally arrived yesterday. Upon entering the Concert Hall, I turned to my brother and said, "s***, we should have bought Circle One". Not that front row Circle Two was all that bad, but for a performance of this stature and personal importance, the additional $10x (where x < 3) seemed a mere trifle in the larger scale of things.

At the very least, the concert invoked wonderful memories of when we used to watch the entire trilogy during every school holiday (yes even during the one-week ones). Of course, some of the re-worked parts may have caused some level of head-scratching amongst the uninitiated (i.e. those who didn't get the soundtrack), but to me it was like meeting good old friends again (yeah I haven't listened through the entire 3 CDs for awhile now). I must say Howard Shore did a pretty splendid job compressing what ... 8-9 hours worth of music into a compact 6 movements which lasted about 2 hours +. The speeding up of the tempo helped, but the orchestra and choruses pulled it off remarkably well, given the immense precision, skill and feeling needed to pull off such a grand score.

The lighting and the artwork projected on the giant screen helped to set the mood as the conductor led us on a whirlwind tour from the Shire to Mount Doom; there and back again. The individuals musicans who were playing solo parts were impressive as well, such as the Irish Whistle and fiddle players, who masqueraded as the tin whistle and welsh fiddle used in the original recordings. The singers and soloists were quite effective in their rendition, whether it was the rousing harmonies of Lothlorien or the pulsating chants of Mordor. However, I must say that the solo singers were still quite some way off from the originals, though it is to be expected in the sense that a live performance on stage can never truly replicate the standard of a recording in a soundproof studio. Kudos especially to the two young girls (at most 10 years of age) who sang solos in the Fellowship movements for their bravery and commendable ability.

I must say that the only thing that stopped me from joining some of the other audience members in a standing ovation at the end was due to the quasi-bad taste that was left in my mouth by the final piece, Into The West. While the soprano undoubtedly showcased her skill, it was disappointing that she started coming in early repeatedly (aka 放炮, as Laozhou would have termed it), much to the dismay and anxiety of the conductor and guitarists (who somehow managed to 'catch up' without making it sound too obvious, well done to them).

Sigh ... it really makes one wish one was in such an orchestra. But upon reflection, it's not so straightforward. Why would I want to be in a symphony orchestra? So that I can get to perform all my favourite pieces, such as LOTR and the Final Fantasy series. But one would be hard-pressed to find a orchestra where one can pick and choose what to play based on whims and fancies, and even if one existed, how long could one possibly sustain one's interest? Short of a school orchestra of course, which has more freedom to choose, since they're not under constant pressure to perform all those 'classics' from don't know how many centuries back. But anyway, just pursue this fantasy a little, which instrument would I choose, should I ever have the chance? At first I thought maybe violin, but after yesterday, I came to the conclusion that the manual dexterity involved was way out of my league. So then ... it's a toss between the French Horn and the trumpet. I'd probably pick the horn, because it's less imposing than the trumpet, though I must admit the trumpet has some really uplifting fanfare-ish parts. But the horn has a clear, yet controlled (i.e. not suona) ring to it that I find heartwarming. But oh we shall see, we shall see.

"The Road goes ever on and on, down from the door where it began..."

Greenpeace vs GMOs

2008-05-12T14:53:00.009+08:00

So Greenpeace is at it again, bashing well-intentioned scientists and researchers. Well OF COURSE we don't know, there just MIGHT BE some unintended side effects of consuming GM food ... eventually. Just like how maybe being exposed to too much air-con at a young age will treble your chances of getting dry skin when you're 70 or something. Thanks a lot.

So the Flavr-Savr tomato came out in freakin' 1994, which is freakin' 14 years already, but "it ain't long enough to tell" eh? Fine, so why don't you just set a deadline, after which you can all shut up and get on with life? If 14 years of FLAWLESS records are insufficient for you ... well maybe you should just pack up and go home.

So YOU think you have a BETTER solution to food shortages around the world? Well guess what? We're STILL WAITING TO HEAR ABOUT IT. Instead of committing random, moronic acts of thuggery (e.g. vandalising fields of GM crops used in research), why don't you set up a think tank or something that can actually come up with something that at least remotely exhibits some INTELLIGENCE. What you are doing now is NOT USEFUL. GET IT?

There is a FINE LINE between playing the devil's advocate and undiluted fearmongering. That line is about to be crossed soon, if indeed it has not been crossed already. 'Frankenfood'? That's just bullcrap. Where do you think all your modern medicine comes from? Do you seriously think the penicillin you ingest today is identical to the version Fleming discovered? As pathogens evolve to become resistant to medications, so must the pharmaceuticals wage a never-ending war to improve upon existing drugs, on top of synthesising new ones.

Did you hear that? SYNTHESISING! Here we are, using GM bacterial cultures to mass-produce medicinal drugs, so by definition, are these medicines not GM food? Why the distinct lack of noise here? Could it possibly be that some shadowy syndicate is being discriminatory here?

"Oh it's OK to consume GM products if it's in the form of medicine, but GM rice and wheat is out of the question. Nope, completely out of the question. Don't ask me how I would solve the problem (not that I really care about all those suffering people anyway), but this method is wrong because something MIGHT just happen 123127378686 + 12324i years down the road. I mean, it just MIGHT. WHO KNOWS? Just because nothing has happened so far doesn't mean nothing will ever happen right? I mean, just look at I AM LEGEND! Do you want to run the RISK of 99.99992342352345% of the world's population to turn into zombies?"

Now if the famine-stricken populations are the ones who are protesting about this, then I really have nothing to say (although beggars can't be choosers). What right do fags like these self-styled 'pro-environmentalists' have to DENY the most BASIC of necessities to others, when they themselves have been dining in comparative luxury every day?

Belt up 'yer fools

2008-05-08T15:34:00.003+08:00

About the recent furore over schoolkids (and other similarly intelligent, thinking individuals) not wearing seatbelts. It's rather disgusting, especially when it comes to the younger generation, for this is a clear display of either poor parental responsibility, or poor discipline on the part of the children, or a combination of both factors.

When I was a small kid, our first family car was a humble Honda Civic. Back then, cars didn't even come with seatbelts in the backseat. So we stood up instead (we were short enough then) and held onto the front seats, so that even if the driver jammed the brakes, there would be much less resultant impact.

When the seatbelt ruling was imposed, my brother and I had no problem converting over to the new 'system', as did most other people, I'm sure (I hope). If we have no problems wearing seatbelts now, what more for those kids whose very first experience was definitely in car with seatbelts in the backseat? No excuses there.

Come on folks, use your brains. It's free and comes with the car. If you're not going to use it, then perhaps you should 'opt out' when you purchase the car so that the price is lower? It's just dumb. Such a simple thing like this, yet people can even proclaim to the newspapers that "Oh I don't wear seatbelts, but as you can see nothing has happened to me yet, so I think more people should follow this trend and jump on the bandwagon. Don't worry, you won't be so suay one. I've done it so many times, yet I've never had cause to worry." [words to that effect]

Two words for these people: SHIT HAPPENS

my achilles heel?

2008-04-22T17:01:00.003+08:00

After battling a huge mouth ulcer for close to a week, it leaves me now to conclude that this is the worst possible form of torture for me, barring extraordinary circumstances. And it JUST had to kick in at the same time as 1x Kuishin-bo outing + 1x Botak Jones freeflow. Thanks a lot, but I trust my own ability to control my consumption rate -_- Fortunately it decided to go away today after persistent applying of watermelon frost, and I'm truly glad to see the back of it.

It really must be something to hit me this hard, because I suppose after all these years, I'm probably quite attuned to aches and pains no thanks to bloody arthritis. But over time, while one can get relatively 'used' to the pain, it's the stiffness that really pisses me off. E.g. yesterday was yet another time when I couldn't even do a friggin' push-up coz my left elbow could neither bend nor straighten completely, not to mention the added hurt of supporting my body weight on my hands. Damn, but I don't really expect non-sufferers to understand much, so I try my best to keep it to myself. It helps too that it doesn't really seem to be degenerating over time so far *crosses fingers*

Well then, so far I've been able to minimise the worst episodes by hitting the painkillers the night before once I feel anything coming on, but I don't know how in blazes this is gonna work next year when I go overseas for studies. And who knows what's going to happen in the freezing cold. But I guess it's not really at the top of my worry-list so I'll just be content with the status quo.

Auspicium.

My response to "The Singaporean obsession with A grades "

2008-04-04T14:33:00.006+08:00

Here is my response to the blog post at http://scientific-child-prodigy.blogspot.com/2008/04/singaporean-obsession-with-grades.html, regarding the recent Straits Times article (Wednesday, 2nd April 08) in which PM Lee implied that the governement's search for talent is restricted to students who got 4 As at the A Levels:

I do agree with your stand about how it is narrow-minded to restrict the search of leadership talent to students with 4 As / did well in their studies. However, I also take personal offense at your comments whereby you insinuated that students who excelled in the A Levels tend to be "socially inept, dull individual(s) of no character or life experience".

Is this not unfair stereotyping? Instead of arguing about how less-academically-inclined students can offer as much as their peers, you have decided to fall back on attacking those who have worked hard to achieve good results. I say I take this personally because I fall under the category of those students who have done well in the A Levels, and I am fully aware of how much effort has been put into achieving these results. It is wholly unfair to label hard work as "a monomaniacal tendency to study".

You say you have "taught extensively here". But somehow, I doubt you have experienced teaching the full spectrum of students here. There are students who are committed to their studies because they enjoy the learning and discovery that goes into everyday life in school (and I am not just refering to those who actually end up scoring As). As a sincere teacher, this should be the ultimate goal; to instill a deep love for learning in one's students. Yet you seem to believe that it is inherently wrong to commit a significant portion of one's time to academics.
On what basis do you have to say that students are "socially inept", or "dull", and have netiher "character" nor "life experience"? Have you actually interacted with them outside of a school setting? If you have not, then by similar reasoning, one can label a not-so-academically-inclined student as "dull" merely because he/she fails to show any 'bright sparks' in class. And character? How in the world has academics have anything to do with one's character? Unless you're implying that these students used underhanded tactics / cheated to achieve their results?

"... total exclusion of the rest of life and an absolute focus on studies"? Here you make the assumption that only those who eventually achieved good results are the ones who committed significant amounts of time and effort to their studies. How about those students who worked equally hard (if not harder), but ended up with not-so-good results? Are you saying that they have lost out on both counts, since they have neither the "social skills" nor the good results?
On top of all this, you're making the false assumption that students who did not do as well in their exams are bright (opp. of dull), have fantastic social skills (which is a trait that is hard to quantify in the first place), and have unquestionable character and bearing. This is a false assumption because these traits can be found across the board, regardless of one's academic ability, especially when it comes to character.

Yes, I fully agree that we should not be myopic and narrow our target zone to only those who have done well academically. In fact, this is the precise sentiment that I brought up when discussing this article with my family when it was published in the papers. However I find it very unfair that you have chosen to attack hardworking students in this way.

Throughout this post you have implied that there is no personal development that results when one studies hard in school. I beg to differ. There are only so many "geniuses" (if at all) who can achieve good results by pure talent alone. The vast majority of students who did well are reaping what they have sowed, and you cannot take that away from them. They demonstrate perseverance and self-motivation (amongst many other personal traits), that are crucial to any kind of success, in politics or otherwise. They show that they are more than capable of committing time and energy to a task when called upon to do so. In life, nobody can be guaranteed a job that is always exciting and interesting, because to each is own, and also the definition of 'interesting' defers from individual to individual. In politics, one rarely gets to choose what assignments to take up. If you get a task that you deem mundane or boring, does that give you the option to sit back and whine? No, you cannot pick and choose; you just go ahead and do it anyway. Contrary to your stereotype, there are students who have studied hard to achieve good results, yet detest having to study at all. But they did it anyway because it was the only way to achieve academic excellence, and you cannot fault them for that.

"dull" and "uninteresting"? To be accurate, you should have added the phrase "in my eyes". Because such labels are relative to each person, and there is no universal standard of any sort. "Creativity"? If everybody in a government was "interesting" and "creative" (by your understanding of these terms), then who will shoulder the burden of getting day-to-day things done? You can only have so many creative people at the top of an organisation. In fact, too many and you'll probably end up with clashes between strong personalities and egos. Sure, a large measure of creativity is necessary for those who are tasked to plan for the future. But while it is important to look ahead, somebody has to look at our feet as we are walking forward to make sure everything goes smoothly and we don't end up in a hole, like Aesop's astronomer, who fell into a pit because he only cared to gaze into the stars in the night sky on his evening walk.

eve of destiny

2008-03-31T20:44:00.006+08:00

Well then. March 31st, but thanks to the time zone difference, the replies are only gonna be in around tomorrow morning local time. Then again, thankfully, I've been saved like 99.9% of the anticipated anxiety over this past week or so thanks to Chicago replying early (not trying to gloat or anything here). But it sure as hell has been easier to breathe these few days knowing that I have that *ahem* thick envelope sitting there.

People wonder why I got so worked up over this uni application stuff. At times, it is hard to explain to the uninitiated that at this level, results are just a piece of laminated paper. Stuff like the essays, it's relatively subjective and unpredictable (e.g. Chicago essays). And sometimes I have to admit that the weight of expectation (both mine and others') is hard to take.

I like to believe that I am capable of keeping my feet planted firmly on the ground. So surprisingly, it seems that it is others who have the tendency to take what small successes I have for granted, in the sense that anything new is just the same old brand new me. And no, I'm not asking for congratulatory stuff or what. But maybe sometimes I need some empathy as to the internal (turmoil? I don't know) that lies beneath the surface. It's hard to be rational about these kinds of things. To be truthful, not getting into both C and D last time round did shake me a little, but on hindsight it was probably a good thing 'coz it instilled a healthy dose of paranoia and humbleness into me.

But anyway. Good news and bad. Good is that Mr D got in too. Bad is that Mr J didn't. Pity, but we shall see when the dust settles. It's weird 'innit? All this build up of hype and excitement as the replies come in, and then a depleted uranium slug comes in to burst your balloon. Oh damn, I nearly forgot, it's only end March/early April, and I only ORD in friggin' November, and I have to stone for bloody 9 months till 2009. No, I'm not really in a big hurry to leave. It's probably better to have more time to prepare and catch up with people after NS. But even so. I guess I've been pretty ambivalent about having to leave eventually.

Hmm what will I be missing? People, food, and EPL, roughly in that order. Then again, since Singtel's Mio just snatched UCL rights from Starhub, I guess that saves me the agony of having to decide on whether to part with either $100+ just for the stupid system or 3am soccer matches. At least there's nothing to be sore about since I would be conveniently gone after the end of the '08-'09 season. Haiz.

I guess it's like the Dark Portal, ominous, mysterious, and thrilling. Other than that you have an unlimited-range scroll of teleportation on hand so you know it won't be a one-way ticket.

Just a little side note on personal relationships. I've had much time to reflect on this, and it's all rather perplexing. Even if an opportunity presented itself (or herself, to be more precise), there's this whole 'dang it I'm leaving next year' thing hanging over my head ... my personal sword of damocles. It really makes me wonder (no maroon5 now thank you) what I'd do even if such a situation arose, despite the vastly negligible odds of any spontaneous reaction occuring the way things are. And yeah, the fact that I'll be away for 8 (maybe a little shorter? who knows?) years out of the next decade. Man. That's crazy. I mean, as a matter of fact, I am looking forward on starting a family eventually. But how in blazes is anything supposed to happen if I'm only going to back here for a year out of the next 9, and then disengaging my sorry ass for another 5 years to a currently unforeseeable place? Unless the other party, by some great fortuitous coincidence, happens to be going to wherever I'll be headed as well, and for the same period of time. Which, extrapolating, pretty much restricts things to other PhD-in-US (assuming I'm doing it there of course) people? Zomg. This is starting to sound too much like some anime or mushy 'oh we were fated to be together' stuff. But enough on scrying into the depths of the future. One step as it comes, I guess. In the Age of Uncertainty, there's probably less merit in crystalballgazing as in the past.

O' Brave New World!

yawnzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

2008-03-13T10:02:00.004+08:00

there's nothing to do now. zzzzzzzzzz

can't rely on the library for everything. yeah readin's all fine and dandy, but it's helluva boring enterprise in the long run. bnet is mega-lag (no surprises there) so i'm at the tipping point as far as that's concerned. too lazy to go and get a 20m lan wire to guarantee a stable connection.
ok so i just started on french, but that's only gonna take up so much of my time. should give up on manga too ... been readin' too much already i think ... bleach naruto ouran lovehina deathnote. maybe i shd go do some cip or something lol.

eight months to go.

The Shadow of The Wind

2007-12-18T11:32:00.000+08:00

I just finished reading the the best book I've ever read in my entire life thus far. That's no mean feat, if you consider that Carlos Ruiz Zafon is competing with the likes of Tolkien and Pullman. No book has ever come close to capturing my imagination like The Shadow of The Wind. It may look intimidating at 487 pages, but you really can't put it down once you begin. Maybe I'm just used to the ponderous books in the Harry Potter series.

I believe I was meant to find this book. On my way to BBDC last week, I dropped by Bukit Batok Community Library. Normally I would've gone to the Jurong West library instead, but there was a heavy downpour that started as the shuttle bus approached Boon Lay MRT, and mysteriously stopped when I boarded the train. (The route to the JW library is not sheltered).

At BB library, I picked up Stephen King's The Gunslinger and The Drawing of The Three (the next 3 books in the Dark Tower series were on loan). I searched for Umberto Eco's The Name of the Rose (remembering that Mr [or should I say, 2LT] Chen had read it in school last year), but the only copy was on loan too. On my way to the exit, I saw a copy of The Shadow of The Wind on one of the shelves, and recalled that LCY had recommended it to me a few months back. I opened it and the first review compared it to "Jorge Luis Borges [whose writing inspired of U of Chicago's infamously infuriating essay questions] ... writing in the mode of Umberto Eco's The Name of the Rose". More was to come. I flipped to the back, and whose blurb might my eyes meet, but that of Mr King himself.

Coincidence? I think not.

Damn. Of all those books I've picked up from libraries this year, I have only had the urge to own a copy of this one (sorry if this last line contains horrible syntax).

To all bibliophiles out there: This is the story to end all (almost) stories. Go read it NOW.

I'm serious.

The Pillowman

2007-11-16T22:21:00.001+08:00

SPOILER ALERT!

Detective Tupolski: So Mr Katurian, what is your first name?

Katurian: Katurian.

T: Your surname is Katurian ... and your first name is also Katurian?

K: My parents were ... humorous people.

T: Right ...... middle initial?

K: K.

T: So your name is ... Katurian Katurian Katurian ... ?!?

K: As I said, my parents were humorous people.

The Fox's Cunning, or How to Avoid Extra Work by Feigning Incompetence: A Case Study

2007-11-13T18:10:00.000+08:00

Well, I have not written anything for eons, so since I got struck by a thunderbolt of literary inspiration, here goes. (unfortunately can't say the same for my uni essays... -_-)

Disclaimer (yeah, another one): The following discussion is based on my own personal experiences, but not in my current place of work ^^

I've found it worrisome that in certain working environments, there is no incentive for members to excel in what they do / go the extra mile. Case in point:

{

ABC X is hardworking, has initiative, and usually tries his best to complete whatever tasks are assigned to him.

DEF Y is possibly just as capable, but has a knack for acting incompetent and unreliable in front of superiors, and goes out of his way to evade any kind of work.

GHI Z (the superior) wants something done urgently. No prizes for guessing who gets the 'honour' of doing it.

}

Repeat n times where 0<n<infinity

[note: ranks and names of persons involved substituted for anonymity's sake]

So who is the 'smart' guy here? As n tends to infinity, surely one cannot expect X to keep up this positive attitude indefinitely. Clearly, his willingness to take pride in his work is being taken for granted. While Y gets off scot-free. The problem here does not lie with Y; the problem is that

(a) there is no incentive/motivation whatsoever to be outstanding (in a positive way),

(b) some of the superiors lack the (pardon me) wit to see what is really going on, and

(c) the rest are aware but feign ignorance because they really don't give a damn.

Methinks someone's HR policies are in need of a review. But hey, I'm just here for 22 months. If the people who matter don't care, who are we to make noise?

A commendable act of bravery

2007-09-12T21:13:00.000+08:00

I am writing this in response to the big hoohah about Mr Otto Fong's recent blog post, in which he admitted bravely and unabashedly that he was gay.

First of all, my deepest respects to you Sir, for having the courage and self-belief to do this, despite knowing all-too-well how 'tolerant' our government is on this issue. This act is even more courageous given that teachers HAVE been forcibly expelled for being openly gay (though if I remember correctly one of them did make advances on his students, in which case MOE's action was justified).

Even though Mr Fong never taught me when I was in RI, I have close friends who were his students before, and they continue to keep in close contact with him even after graduating (sadly, I can't say the same of myself and my own RI teachers). But I will not add to the mountains of praise that have been (rightfully and justly) heaped on him in numerous online posts like this one, for I fear that I lack the authority to comment on his teaching abilities.

As a matter of fact, it doesn't even matter how good/lousy a teacher/anybody is in his/her job; we should not encourage such a trend of thinking, that somebody should not be sacked because he is a good teacher. Now again, don't get me wrong, I am not in any way doubting Mr Fong's teaching skills.

But anyway ... if MOE (or anyone, for that matter) dares to do anything drastic to him, not only would it be exceptionally myopic, it would be an unforgivable error of indescribable proportions. Censorship of certain issues such as, say, religious extremism is justified, but in this case it is obvious beyond a doubt that Mr Fong's letter contained absolutely no undertones or whatever that could POSSIBLY be of corruptive influence.

IN FACT, I strongly believe that it is an excellent piece of heartfelt writing. I was personally very moved upon reading it, and my heart goes out to others like him who have stayed in their closets because of the unforgiving climate that lies beyond the doors. This letter should be compulsory reading for anyone who wants to write with true sincerity and purpose.

I shall state my opinion on this with absolute clarity:

If you sack him, you are downright WRONG. No two ways about it.

Allow me quote the man himself:

"If my colleagues and students, both gay and straight, see that being true to one’s own self has great value, perhaps we can produce a new generation who is truly courageous."

- Otto Fong

Once again, Dr M displays his unrivaled talent for unparalleled logic, reasoning and cognition

2007-09-06T19:48:00.000+08:00

Apparently a particular Malaysian citizen recently insinuated in a newspaper interview that Singapore is the source of the (in)famously-widespread corruption in Malaysia's higher echelons. I take it that his remarks about certain Malaysian personnel "holidaying in Singapore" were a none-too-subtle jab aimed to rile us Singaporeans. Well at least he got off to a good start by actually admitting there are badeggs in his beloved system after all. But somehow it's OUR fault? LOL??!!?

Sounds like a certain Indonesian buddy of ours and his Konfrantasi rhetoric. * random nonsense about how cmi they are* ......... BUT IT'S SOMEBODY ELSE'S FAULT THAT WE ARE SO CMI!!!

REVELATION!!!

And by the way. He himself admitted that he was afraid Malaysian Malays wouldn't be able to afford to live in the IDR if Singaporeans got involved, which would inevitably jack up prices. He seems to have 'overlooked' showing concern for the other races of Malaysia, notably the Chinese and Indians. What with all those bumiputera policies, and you're STILL complaining? Hello?!?!? Anybody home? Apparently he isn't worried about offending/alienating his fellow citizens. But then again, what's new in Malaysia?

Some secular nation indeed.

And by the way Dr M. Obviously Singapore puts it's own interests above that of other countries. What other purpose does the state serve but to protect and promote the well being of it's OWN citizens??? Go use some neurojuice before opening your mouth plsthx.

p.s. And by the way, implementing incentives to woo potential investors/customers is called USING YOUR BRAIN TO OWN THE OPPOSITION. Just in case you didn't notice.

"hardline group rallies for world islamic rule"

2007-08-13T21:01:00.000+08:00

*this is not in any way an anti-Islamic post*

Just today the papers reported that a radical bunch (in the magnitude of 70,000) of Indonesians staged a demonstration to agitate for the formation of a caliphate in the country, and they envisaged that they would take the entire muslim diaspora under their wing in the future as well.

What particularly irks me is that some joker said that "secularism is the source of all social ills" or words to that effect. It's truly admirable that they think that their version of an Islamic state is going to save the world, but puh-leese ... you can't really be serious. Look at Iraq (b4 bush), Iran, and friends. Look where syariah rule got them.

It is really worrying that our good neighbour (no sarcasism here) actually has so much potential danger beneath the surface of calm. Still water runs deep.

Somebody gonna get hurt real bad

2007-08-08T00:40:00.000+08:00

Hohoho guess what? EPL 07-08 is here to stay, and Fergie and Friends are out to whoop some ass. HELL, IT'S ABOUT TIME.

"I am the Alpha and the Omega."

- Xan Kriegor, Unreal Tournament GOTY Edition

something to live by

2007-08-01T20:36:00.000+08:00

Every morning in Africa, a gazelle wakes up.
It knows it must run faster than the fastest lion, or it will be killed.

Every morning in Africa, a lion wakes up.
It knows it must run faster than the slowest gazelle, or it will starve.

It doesn't matter whether you are a lion or a gazelle;
when the sun comes up, you had better start running.

-African Proverb

"Full speed ahead!" ~ Goblin Zeppelin

Sooooooooooooooooooooo long more to ordddddddddd

2007-07-27T22:56:00.000+08:00

Today was the A*STAR Scholarship Award Ceremony... It was great fun rehearsing and performing with everyone, but after all the confetti and camera flashes, I felt (even now) a sense of emptiness... The girls (and some guy(s) for that matter) have got much to look forward to, after all they're leaving soon... but guys like us have got to hibernate for 2 more bloody years before getting into the thick of the action. Not that I'm complaining about my vocation or anything, and I know everyone has to go through (endure, more like it) NS, but I can't help but feel sad for all the guys and this whole "countdown to ORD" thing. Frankly it's like the only thing to look forward to in the big picture. As I've reiterated before I appreciate the importance of NS, but you can't blame me for wishing I could be off on another adventure now.

Screw delayed rewards.

Brains plsthx

2007-07-14T00:46:00.000+08:00

My take on the LHY issue:

Firstly, can all those people who accuse him of trying to abuse his 'white-horse' status just shut up and think for a moment? Only an idiot would expect everyone to cover his ass for him and knowingly step over the line. And don't say he didn't expect it to be publicised etc, he emailed his WHOLE BLOODY BATTALION, and he's obviously not stupid enough to think nobody will spread it.

It's highly possible that he weighed the pros and cons of going ahead with his actions, and came to the conclusion that it was worth the punishment (knowing that it definitely wouldn't be that bad, white-horse or not, it being a REALLY minor offence). It may be giving him the benefit of the doubt, but for sure he wouldn't write an email complaining about double standards and then expect to receive such standards himself.

I respect his actions regardless of whether or not they infringed on any rules. He did what he thought was right and we have to give him credit for that, especially since no innocents were harmed in any way in the process. From his point of view, the only reason to not send the email was the guarantee of punishment, and if he deemed it worthwhile so be it.

Note that I'm not disagreeing in any way with the SAF's decision to go ahead and mete out punishment when it is due; this is the way the system works and there must be no exceptions. What irks me is the way some people assume the worst of others.

What he said isn't exactly news, just ask any NSFs around. If the sergeants ask you to buy roti john from the canteen for them, will you say no? You can, but who will really do it? It's endemic and everyone knows it. Perhaps the offending officer didn't expect someone to actually blow it up to such an extent; perhaps he had his ass covered, i.e. he had the favour of his bosses and hence (near-)complete safety from such complaints. Which NSF under him would have been brave enough to complain? If he doesn't get demoted/transferred out/put in DB/discharged from the SAF, the whistle-blower would have had a hell of a time serving out the remainder of his NS life. It's just not worth the risk.

And don't say 'send an anonymous letter, lah'... the way the system works, everything must be accounted for, and anonymous stuff will definitely be ignored regardless of how relevant they appear to be. It also serves as a convenient excuse for the OC and other higher-ups to explain why they ignored the issue at hand, etc.

Food for thought:

1. Why didn't he just wait until he disrupted before bringing it up from a safe position? The only reason I can think of is that the argument might have lost significant 'weight' if it came from a civilian; conversely people will ask why he didn't bring it up earlier, and etc.

2. As quite a few people have pointed out online, he was quite literally AWOL himself since he left his post on the friday in question before being personally relieved by another officer.

Feeling lame?

2007-07-13T10:34:00.000+08:00

u-kasaegusa: there's only one style when playing TB

wyx_at_inferno: manta?

u-kasaegusa: no, the ownage style

(sorry to those who don't play dota haha)

When it rains, it pours...

2007-07-13T09:10:00.000+08:00

This week has been pure ownage so far. I received an SMS on Wednesday night from Zongjin regarding the passing on of our beloved Mr Yeo that morning. The wake is today (friday) and tomorrow, and the funeral is on Sunday. Over 3 days, surely I would be able to go on at least one right? WRONG. Well... almost. I was supposed to go for branch outing tonight to Ming's bar/pub (apparently its super near to RJ), but I managed to wriggle out of it in time. Tomorrow is A*star rehearsal the whole afternoon + some birthday party of sorts for one of my grand-uncles at night. And Sunday is my maternal grandma's birthday so it's like inauspicious to attend a funeral on the same day. Almost GG.

The worst part is that the vast majority of the guys will be going tomorrow for obvious reasons, and RICO is even gonna put up a mini-performance in his memory. Sigh... by some random luck we actually have enough people tonight for a tanbo reunion... kevin, chen wei, niqing, weichong (possibly), hu ching, yujun and myself. Can put up a ruan hezou already lol.

LIFE IS TRANSIENT. I only heard abt Mr Yeo's illness (cancer, prostate I think) a few months ago around SYF season.. which was like what 4, 5 months ago? Then again I guess it's better not to drag these kind of things... but of course you'd want to have some period of time for closure with friends, relatives, etc... that sort of thing...

I remember yang lao shi as an extremely likeable gent. He was very mild-mannered, and rarely showed his displeasure/temper... he had a nasal voice which, coupled with his compact frame, gave him an appearance not dissimilar to that of an old academic (think: Professor Flitwick(e?) ) He wasn't the most inspiring per se because he didn't really impose his own interpretations/styles of music on the orchestra, but we all loved him dearly for his gentle and candid demeanour. On hindsight, I might have gotten to know him better if he had stayed on as tanbo instructor at RJCO... he left just b4 my batch got in... as SL I would definitely have worked with him on numerous occasions.

I went to watch a play with my mum on wednesday (which explains all my late smses/non-replies that night) at the Black Box drama centre (NLB building)... it was called Asian Boys Vol. 3: Happy Endings by Alfian Sa'at. If you don't know who he is, or you find the name vaguely familiar but can't quite place it, go to the RI roll of honour near the atrium and look under Prime Minister's Book Prize, etc. It was about male homosexuals (a.k.a gays) in Singapore looking for their place in society though it's not exactly your typical gay story. I found it pleasantly humorous and light-hearted, and the cast was quite godly (read: effeminate -- trev and Mr E Lim =p)... oh yeah speaking of trevor, they were showing the names of the sponsors + supporting orgs b4 the play started and one of them was WWW.TREVVY.COM and I was like LOLOLOLOL... btw I'd advise against following that link... Disclamer: I have nothing to do with that website, I'm just quoting it given the context of the situation. Yeah anyway the play runs for another 2 weeks or so... I'd recommend everyone to watch it hahaha. The part that had me quite literally squirming in my seat was when (WARNING: SPOILERS AHEAD)

the cast donned white uniforms (I couldn't see the badge clearly from that distance) during the part which described the characters in their schooldays and I was like bu hui ba... then a girl appeared on stage in a WHITE TOP AND GREEN SKIRT and they all started singing WHEN STAMFORD RAFFLES HELD THE TORCH etc and I was like... ZOMGWTFOWNAGEBBQ... trust uncle alfian to be so patriotic to his own alma mater lol. I mean... you can hardly argue that it was presented in a positive light (I'm not implying anything negative ok) given that all the male students in the story had latent/blatant homosexual leanings.

Mr Hodge should've been there hahaha.

p.s. die hard 4.0 / order of the phoenix anyone? (this sunday, early-mid afternoon, but preferably next wk)

Thank god for the pool downstairs

2007-07-08T12:13:00.000+08:00

I'm supposed to be swimming regularly since I get to come home daily, but I'm missing some sort of momentum to get started; I'm barely going down once a week. I just got back from a 1click swim (albeit with breaks in between) but better than nothing. I'm really glad there's a convenient pool around coz I really dislike running/jogging/wtte for various reasons. Same goes for having some dumbbells around at home; haven't been going to the gym for eons too. Oh well.

NS rantings

2007-07-07T23:04:00.000+08:00

Location:

Leadership Learning and Development Branch, Centre of Leadership Development, SAFTI MI

Operation Fighting Boredom

OK fine so my job sounds slack ("research assistant") and I would admit it is at the moment; after all we have a 'lull' period currently. Then again my definition of 'lull' is by CLD standards which sort of warps things...

Anyway this is my first attempt to blog... since I've stay-out so I might as well try my hand at it before I forget all my writing skills.

The CLD retreat was so-so IMO, primarily because we sorely lacked a mahjong set due to some miscomm. The bbq wasn't very fantastic either coz of the horrific people:pits ratio (there was only 1 pit and like 30+ ppl)... we ended up having tons of leftovers. On top of this, the presence of so many superiors sort of tempered the fun/rowdiness-factor... not that they had some debilitating evil aura or anything but well I needn't explain too much.

Fortunately we had a DVD player + projector so we watched Children of Dune from 12 to about 3... contrary to my expectation it turned out to be pretty decent... I had attempted to watch the original Dune series a few years back but gave up not long into it.

At 2.15am CPT Elijah, Lilian and Ms Wendy gatecrashed into the place and almost woke everyone up with their incessant (no negativity intended) doorbell ringing and knocking, even though they had peeked through the window and seen the three of us watching the movie. In fact Iylia was like 1metre from the door so it seemed quite unnecessary.

Woke up at 7+ coz the officers had Meeting Part 2 at 8... then we went to play soccer at a basketball court in Changi Village for awhile... but didn't really get any momentum. I effectively didn't break a sweat coz I was 'keeping for 95% of the game (in the shade somemore).

Anyway lucky we had lotsa manpower so the packing up and loading of the truck was quite efficient... and fortunately warrant Ari was kind enough to give chanzy and I a lift out... he was even travelling west so I got to piggyback further than expected =D